Knight Tiger (Cheshire (Sohma Kyou [草摩 夾])) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
catastrophies) wrote2013-05-26 08:52 pm
catastrophies) wrote2013-05-26 08:52 pm
Entry tags:
Memory 15 - Game 40 [NEU-NEG]
- Not being able to protect Tohru from Akito
Received: Day 57, Just Desserts
Sharable: a skull ring, wear to take memory [1/4 uses] (shared with Duchess, Rabbit)
So that moment of introspection happened and then...
Essentially, Kyou doesn't know exactly what happened when Akito showed up or what Tohru and Akito were talking about.
All he really knows is there was yelling that woke everyone up/got their attention, that Tohru went outside, and that Momiji came running in from outside, where it's raining (so he's feeling sick and sore), getting the adult-cousins because Akito was outside alone with Tohru. Momiji's cheek is bruised and he looks exactly like a scared rabbit. Everyone likely crowded around the windows/doors but not one of them set foot outside until Akito was gone. Though the impulse was strong enough for Kyou that Haru had to grab his arm to keep him from doing anything that would make the situation worse.
They all eventually come inside. Tohru has scratches on her cheek. Everyone knows they were caused by Akito.
Tohru stayed with Kisa and Momiji and the kids that night, looking after them after getting patched up.
Effects:
There is an even stronger sense of helplessness in this memory. Largely because of the fact that Akito IS the Zodiac's God. No one, not even the Cat can really go against their God. Acting against Akito is something they are literally incapable of. And the worst is when they think of acting against Akito, because they know very well they can't. If Akito wants to do something, they can only stand helplessly by as Akito carries out that action. They can object but they also know they will be hurt for it--just like Momiji was.
Not just that but the important message running throughout this memory is that all of the Sohmas cursed by the Zodiac knows about Tohru and wants to protect her from Akito. They do this by allowing her to be excluded from the gatherings and they do this by making sure she isn't alone when they do so--the Cat is always excluded...
The want to protect is very strong but the knowledge that there's so little they can do to shield Tohru from a God as cruel as Akito can be is painful. Even worse is that this is a new revelation with this memory for Kyou. It's in his talk with Momiji at the start of it that he acknowledges that the others have been protecting Tohru in their backwards way and he also acknowledges that it's not something they can always do. Kyou feels weak and incapable of doing anything, especially after Akito's visit. But now he's also aware that others in the Zodiac feel the same.
Worse yet, he has NO IDEA what Tohru and Akito talked about--what Akito said to Tohru... and there's a stifling sense of insecurity and fear at the thought of what Akito might have said to her. But Tohru, as always, acts as the stable one. The solid grounding. Who patches everyone up and looks after them while they sleep. She worries about them instead of herself and while it's a big give-away that Akito said SOMETHING terrible, it's also just Tohru being Tohru and that...
Yeah...
Basically a lot of feelings for Tohru here. Very bittersweet.
And all the HATE HATE HATE WANT TO HATE BUT CAN'T BECAUSE IT'S AKITO AND AKITO AKITO MY GOD, the spirit cries... it's just an endless cycling loop of wanting to feel one thing but being utterly incapable of being able to stay with that feeling because of the spirit he is possessed with. There is love, but there's also hatred and angry and WHY WHY WHY...!?
So what does this means for Kyou in Deco?
Basically, he'll recognize what that constant sense of SOMETHING IS MISSING I CAN'T BE HERE WHERE ARE YOU?! that he gets on a day to day basis--because the Zodiac's connection to their God is quite strong. Literally, upon first meeting Akito, every single Zodiac member has burst into tears, saying "We've been waiting, we've been waiting..." and such. And it will make Kyou that much more anxious and upset about things in general, knowing the kind of person Akito is.
But WORSE THAN THAT, he'll know Tohru's still back home. And he can't do anything to help her. She's alone. If the Zodiac gets called together, she'll be alone. Why did he choose to come here? Why would he leave her alone? Even though there's extremely little he can do back home, it was still better than just leaving her alone--!
So yeah. Those feelings '-'a
Note: no, Kyou doesn't remember that he's supposed to be locked away. And while he doesn't understand the whole of the Zodiac curse still, just remembering Akito solidifies the IDEA behind the curse...
Received: Day 57, Just Desserts
Sharable: a skull ring, wear to take memory [1/4 uses] (shared with Duchess, Rabbit)
So that moment of introspection happened and then...
Essentially, Kyou doesn't know exactly what happened when Akito showed up or what Tohru and Akito were talking about.
All he really knows is there was yelling that woke everyone up/got their attention, that Tohru went outside, and that Momiji came running in from outside, where it's raining (so he's feeling sick and sore), getting the adult-cousins because Akito was outside alone with Tohru. Momiji's cheek is bruised and he looks exactly like a scared rabbit. Everyone likely crowded around the windows/doors but not one of them set foot outside until Akito was gone. Though the impulse was strong enough for Kyou that Haru had to grab his arm to keep him from doing anything that would make the situation worse.
They all eventually come inside. Tohru has scratches on her cheek. Everyone knows they were caused by Akito.
Tohru stayed with Kisa and Momiji and the kids that night, looking after them after getting patched up.
Effects:
There is an even stronger sense of helplessness in this memory. Largely because of the fact that Akito IS the Zodiac's God. No one, not even the Cat can really go against their God. Acting against Akito is something they are literally incapable of. And the worst is when they think of acting against Akito, because they know very well they can't. If Akito wants to do something, they can only stand helplessly by as Akito carries out that action. They can object but they also know they will be hurt for it--just like Momiji was.
Not just that but the important message running throughout this memory is that all of the Sohmas cursed by the Zodiac knows about Tohru and wants to protect her from Akito. They do this by allowing her to be excluded from the gatherings and they do this by making sure she isn't alone when they do so--the Cat is always excluded...
The want to protect is very strong but the knowledge that there's so little they can do to shield Tohru from a God as cruel as Akito can be is painful. Even worse is that this is a new revelation with this memory for Kyou. It's in his talk with Momiji at the start of it that he acknowledges that the others have been protecting Tohru in their backwards way and he also acknowledges that it's not something they can always do. Kyou feels weak and incapable of doing anything, especially after Akito's visit. But now he's also aware that others in the Zodiac feel the same.
Worse yet, he has NO IDEA what Tohru and Akito talked about--what Akito said to Tohru... and there's a stifling sense of insecurity and fear at the thought of what Akito might have said to her. But Tohru, as always, acts as the stable one. The solid grounding. Who patches everyone up and looks after them while they sleep. She worries about them instead of herself and while it's a big give-away that Akito said SOMETHING terrible, it's also just Tohru being Tohru and that...
Yeah...
Basically a lot of feelings for Tohru here. Very bittersweet.
And all the HATE HATE HATE WANT TO HATE BUT CAN'T BECAUSE IT'S AKITO AND AKITO AKITO MY GOD, the spirit cries... it's just an endless cycling loop of wanting to feel one thing but being utterly incapable of being able to stay with that feeling because of the spirit he is possessed with. There is love, but there's also hatred and angry and WHY WHY WHY...!?
So what does this means for Kyou in Deco?
Basically, he'll recognize what that constant sense of SOMETHING IS MISSING I CAN'T BE HERE WHERE ARE YOU?! that he gets on a day to day basis--because the Zodiac's connection to their God is quite strong. Literally, upon first meeting Akito, every single Zodiac member has burst into tears, saying "We've been waiting, we've been waiting..." and such. And it will make Kyou that much more anxious and upset about things in general, knowing the kind of person Akito is.
But WORSE THAN THAT, he'll know Tohru's still back home. And he can't do anything to help her. She's alone. If the Zodiac gets called together, she'll be alone. Why did he choose to come here? Why would he leave her alone? Even though there's extremely little he can do back home, it was still better than just leaving her alone--!
So yeah. Those feelings '-'a
Note: no, Kyou doesn't remember that he's supposed to be locked away. And while he doesn't understand the whole of the Zodiac curse still, just remembering Akito solidifies the IDEA behind the curse...